squirtbag's Xanga

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:40:01 GMT

Um, this might freak people out since i haven't updated forever, but just be happy!

i am now 21!

i am in love!

i am happy!

i like summer time!

i am going home soon to see the fam. i haven't been home since Christmas! :(

Greg and I beat his dad and bro at spades and we rocked!

we are eating leg of lamb today.

i suck at updating!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 22:05:14 GMT

I've been tagged!

Four jobs I've had in my life:
     -Waitress at Buzzard Billy's
     -Thiele Pharmacy and Gifts
     -Babysitter
     -uh, student!

Four Movies I could watch over and over:
     -Empire Records
     -The Truth about Cats and Dogs
     -Ben Folds and WASO (uh, shut up it counts)
     -Newsies

Four Places I've lived:
     -Martha's Vineyard, MA
     -Douglas, WY
     -Alliance, NE
     -Lincoln, NE

Four TV shows (we) love to watch:
     -Gilmore Girls!!!
     -uh, I do like Desperate Housewives
     -I don't watch TV!
     -We don't have cable! (I also secretly LOVE unsolved mysteries)

Four places I've been on vacation:
     -Denver
     -Minneapolis
     -Connecticut
     -Boston

Four websites I visit daily:
     -Facebook
     -Bigred Email
     -Xanga
     -my.unl.edu

Four of my favorite foods:
     -Cheese
     -Mashed potatoes
     -Soup
     -FRUIT!

Four places I'd rather be right now:
     -Home
     -Boston
     -London
     -Home

Four people I am tagging:
     -Smitchy
     -jesheldo
     -lealila
     -Sing of Good Things

Yay for V-Day!

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 03:08:49 GMT

Well. . .it is Valentines day! and i am actually pretty happy!

we had rehearsal for the Reqieum tonight and we got done early which was super fantastic! it should be really great on friday. . .too bad i don't knwo all of it super well. . .hee hee, i guess that is what like 3 rehearsals gets me.

Since I last posted. . .Greg and I celebrated our "official" one month. It was amazing and he is the sweetest boyfriend I could ever have. He picked me up and brought me some very beautiful flowers! He always picks out the best ones. We went to grisanti's for dinner! Very good choice, then we got ice cream and then went to Pioneers park and sat on a blanket and talked and sipped a little hot chocolate and marshmallows that he made and brought along. It was kind of cloudy so we could only see the moon, but even that was beautiful. Then he played a little guitar and we sang and then he sang me a song that I LOVE and that he wrote for me. Oh Oh Oh. . .also it was sort of cold so he brought me an extra sweatshirt, gloves and a hat, plus blankets so that I would stay warm! He thinks of everything!

Sadly, we didn't get to have an actual V-day celebration on V-day but we went out for dinner last night and got to hang out for a while it was really nice. I love when he surprises me. Also, today I got several valentines from him delivered by some other drumline guys in my choral methods class. it was cute and fun! they were disney princess valentines!

ummm. . .big celebration next weekend. Emilie turns the BIG 21!!!!!! woot for that one.

alright. . .well, not much else is new. I get my first Music History test back tomorrow, so that should hopefully be alright. Lol. oh well if it isn't though i guess.

I am happy. . .but i think i need a massage!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 20:57:44 GMT

I know, I know, I know. . .I haven't posted forever. Here is the thing. . .I seriously have HUGE list of things that MUST get done for tomorrow and for some reason I just can't get myself motivated to do any of them. This is basically my first break of the day. I just got done with convo and have studio in 45 minutes and then i have alittle break and then it is singing time from 7-10. . .crazy! So I am basically stuck at school since I have so many things going on here today. It sucks. . .I just want to go home. I actualyl do homework when I am at home!

So, enough with that. I guess I haven't really posted in like, well a really really long time! Sorry about that. This semester has been decent so far. I am taking like 23 ridicuolous credit hours AND trying to work enough to pay my rent. Uh yeah, that sucks. Oh and I have a parking ticket that has to be paid by today, but guess what I forgot about it and I won't be home til 10:30 tonight. Problem? Probably! I am such a criminal or perhaps UNL parking services just SUCK! :) lol

Okay, so do I have any new news? Heck yes I do!!! I am dating a super great guy named Greg. We met in November and have been "dating" like officially for 3 weeks. Yeah, shut up, it is only 3 weeks, but boy has it been a super awesome 3 weeks! He is amazing and I am so lucky to have him in my life right now! We get along great and have so much fun when we are together! He makes me smile!

Okay, okay, what else. . .I am still singing vocal jazz and I love it! Later this semester we will be down at the Crescent Moon doing some solo and ensemble stuff so I will keep you all posted on that one. We start practicum in a few weeks, so that should be good. I hate music history simply because well. . .it sucks AND it is at 8:30 AM 3 days a week! I think it is torture from the admin! They just don't realize that starting a day with that class is horrible!

Hmm. . .I am sure that there are a million other things to update about, but I will save it for next time!

I love my friends and I love my family and really. . .I love my life!

peace!
Lindsey Anne

YAY!

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 20:36:27 GMT

Here we go, finally, a NEW, not sad xanga post!
Things are pretty good. I am home for break and have already started working a lot. I am working two jobs:
#1- Thiele Pharmacy and Gifts: (www.thieles.com) working with old ladies who love me, havin' a sweet boss who is like a dad to me, helping customers, creating beautiful displays, and wrapping some sweet Christmas gifts! I am really good at wrapping, and fast too! Also, I do some occassional pharmacy work.
#2- The Fireside Grille: (www.fireside-grille.com) working with some high school boys, as well as my boss, my sister. I don't really get paid. . .except tips, so I guess it is alright. It is fun to get to see the family and spend so much time with my sister! We are fun together! lol

So, essentially, I am trying to make some money seeing as how I haven't been able to work since before T-giving break!

I am excited for Christmas. I love this time of year, it is so much fun! PLUS, this is the first time in 6 years that my whole fam has been together for the holidays, and now we have Greg (and Erin) too! I am so excited! I love these people!

Hmmmm, in other news, I am in like! It is so much fun! Details. . .? Call me! There is too many great things happening that I don't even know where to begin!

Cranium tonight!!!! woot! Have I ever lost!? I don't think so!

Me, Myself, and I

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:16:21 GMT

It may sounds conceited, but lately I have needed to think about myself for once. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. What are my values? What are my beliefs? What do I want? Who am I? Why do I have to hide behind something I am not? Why am I left to figure this all out on my own? I feel trapped in a person who I don't even know. A person who I sometimes watch, as if from a distance, and cannot recognize. Who is this strange careless person I have become?

I need to look out for myself and be proud to stand up for my beliefs and opinions even if those around me see me as simply conceited and boastful or might not want to support me. I have my rights and opinions and I need to be strong enough to not let go of them! Should I compromise my feelings to keep my friends happy, should I disregard other's beliefs and actions to keep myself safe, or should I just let things head in the direction that they are now?

It is evident that the way things are right now does not work, not at all, but what can I do to change it? Lately I have kept so much of what I am feeling inside of myself, but it is SO hard for me to share feelings. I don't know how to express myself, especially to those I love the most. I have so many things to talk about, but I fear rejection. Rejection. From those who are closest to me. It is so hard when the people I love most seem so distant. Together, but distant. I don't know how anyone else is feeling, I can't read people. I can't read the people I know the most about. All I want is to be included or at least not completely left out of the loop of communication. I honestly become sick to my stomach, literally nauseous, when I have the need to confront those who I should be able to tell anything to. Am I scared of hurting the fragile relationships that I have right now? I don't know, but how can it be healthy to be scared to open my mouth to ask even the simplest questions, tell the simplest stories, or admit the simplest mistakes? Am i afraid I will be laughed at or ignored?

Pride. Am I too proud? Lately, perhaps, but isn't that part of striving to be who you really are, or at least part of beginning the journey to find that person? Sometimes I need to make my own decisions.

Friendships are something that can be so so so different from person to person. Some friends you only talk to once in a while, while others you can confide anything in. It hurts so badly when you become afraid of the single person whom you had always felt you could tell anything. Scared of the one constant in your daily life. Fear. How could fear play such a factor in such an important relationship? I am scared to open my mouth because I don't want my carefully planned words to come out wrong. Never do I want to dissapoint or put down, yet maybe I constantly do. I fear failure. I fear embarrassment. I fear losing someone who is amazingly important to me.

What can i do? I have fallen so far. So far away from who I am, but I can't be who I am without my mirror image! All I can do is HOPE for forgiveness. I have been broken, I am scared. So scared. Cold. Heartless?

I want to strive for perfection, but know it is not even on the horizon. I feel like I can never become who I am expected to be. I am scared and small.

Ignoring things can never really make them go away. Even though I shake when I open my mouth to speak and no words come out, that cannot be my excuse. I want to make things work. So quickly I have fallen and even more quickly do I want to lift myself back up, but I am too weak to do it on my own. I love you.

Scared and hopeful,
Lindsey Anne

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 03:52:41 GMT

VOCAL JAZZ CONCERT!!!!!

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30th!!!!!!!!!!

It is at 7:30 p.m. in Kimball Recital Hall on the UNL Campus around 12th and Q Streets! It would be so much fun if you could come (and probably you would get lots of brownie points! lol) This is our first performance, so please come support us! :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 18:35:35 GMT

Well, Happy Thanksgiving to you all! It feels so good to be at home with family! The smells are the best. . .turkey and pie cooking!!! i love it! plus everything else cooking. it just smells and feels festive and comforting. I love it so much and am so glad that I got to come home! Plus, this is the first t-giving in like 6 years that my entire immediate fam could be together! It just feels so good!

Let's see. . .So far this t-giving break I have:
driven across the state
worked at the restaurant
heard some really bad karaoke
gotten kicked out of a bar
stayed up REALLY late/early
helped in the kitchen
made an awesome pecan pie!
watched fever pitch
donated some pies to charity
shelled some pecans
peeled some turnips
eaten an AWESOME Ranch BLT Wrap that emily made!
hung out with some construction workers
watched part of the Macy's thanksgiving day parade
talked on the phone
ate some ben and jerry's
chilled with the family!!!!! :)
slept (a little)
showered
and probably a million other things! :) lol

i will probably do a million more things as the weekend goes on including:
eating turkey, homemade cranberry sauce, turnips, sweet potatoes, and everything else amazing including 5 pies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
going on a walk
playing cranium turbo and hoopla
playing scene it
seeing friends
working more
and having fun! :)

man. . .i love this day! what could be better than a holiday based around one of my favorite things. . .giving! wait, i really like giving, but i meant to say: based around one of my favorite things. . .FOOD! :) lol

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I better get myself back upstairs to help with the greatness!

Eat!

Amazing!

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 03:54:56 GMT

OK, so tonight was amazing. I want to say it was one of the best things that happened to me this week, but really I would be lying because I really honestly felt that tonight was THE best thing that has happened this week. I don't know why, but vocal jazz was such an amazing and uplifting experience. The music moved me and it felt incredible! The chemistry between everyone just keeps getting stronger and stronger! I can't believe how much we have grown in such a short short time! I am in love with so much of the music we are making together. D-Ave's song is amazing and so so so much fun to sing. I can't wait til November 30th and hope that all goes well. I am still a little scared for the whole only like one rehearsal and a sounds check left, cause that definitely sucks, but whether it goes well or not, i am uplifted and happy because of this experience. I guess I just really really needed this tonight.

This weekend is already shaping up to be much better than the last. Let's hope it stays that way. No class tomorrow, but i do get to go to the NMEA convention which is ALWAYS SOOO much fun! :)

I am in SUCH a good mood! I haven't felt this way for a while. Giddy and giggly, maybe. Blushing and breathless, maybe. but not this uplifted and happy. truly happy! yay!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 15:41:42 GMT

Definitely didn't drink anything this weekend. It isn't fun and creates drama, not like i still can't get involved in the drama, but it isn't exactly my choice.

The weekend was alright. Got like 3 hours of sleep friday night/saturday morning then worked for 10 hours. yeah that sucked! then last night i went to bed at like 10. it was amazing. sorry to those of you that texted or called. . .i was completely passed out and it was so good! i needed it so much!

well, i guess i am off to write some lesson plans! woot! hope everyone else's weekend was alright. i have a concert today and we have to be there 2 hours ahead of time! what is that all about???? oh well. . .

bye!